"When a beloved person disappears, everything becomes impregnated with that person's presence. Every single object but also every space is a reminder of his or her absence, as if absence were stronger than presence."
-Doris Salcedo

bittersweet

About a year ago I babysat my pastor's little boy so he and his wife could go to "a show". In the hip(ster) neighborhood of Greenpoint, Brooklyn, "a show" does not mean a movie (common... $12 per person plus subway fare?! whatever) or anything anywhere near Broadway.
Being new parents, they called to check in (from a noisy concert-sounding event) about an hour or so later. Monique wanted to make sure everything was okay because they were going "on" and wouldn't be able to answer the cell phone until their set was over. (as if they wouldn't have answered mid-set... or even turned it off, I'm sure)
huh. "their set?", so they were in the band? I didn't think much of it, because in Brooklyn it is not particularly uncommon to be doing one thing or another on various stages in the area. And I knew that they were good friends with Sufjan Stevens (he's the Vito from Vito's Ordination Song), so I just figured that maybe Sufjan needed some back-up or something.
I tend to prefer the babysitting to going out and being among people more hip (and young) than myself, so I never inquired about where I might catch their next "set".

Then I moved from here

to here









And miss everything about what I left behind so much it's hard to focus on anything else.
Oh, and I was just lamenting about the things I always meant to do but didn't do in the 6+ years I lived in NY... like ice skating and taking pictures of the most beautiful church I had ever seen in my life, where God showed up and sat by me in the old wooden pews and soothed my sorrow with that lovely "old church" smell, and held me tight in the arms of his people, and spoke to me through a man that signs even casual emails with "your servant" (and he means it). Yeah, I've really been wishing I could see those stained glass windows again.
So, anyway, I stumbled across this album on itunes today, and later the following video on youtube. And tonight I am just so homesick, I can't stop the tears. But also thankful for the feeling, because I can't say I've ever been connected enough to miss a place like I miss my home there. Thanks, Vito and Monique (and the lovely Church in your care)... for being my servants.
xo.

waiting is hard

It's a Small World

it's a world of laughter, a world or tears
its a world of hopes, its a world of fear
theres so much that we share
that its time we're aware
its a small world after all

its a small world after all
its a small world after all
its a small world after all
its a small, small world

there is just one moon and one golden sun
and a smile means friendship to everyone.
though the mountains divide
and the oceans are wide
it's a small small world